Don’t Say A Word !

Don’t Say A Word!

Without words, what can be done today that send love messages to your partner?  Sincere actions that mean something to your loved one that show care, value, or forethought.   Most communication is non verbal.  What can you do quietly that will speak loudly of love to your significant other?

Researchers* say that about 7% is comuunicatins is words,  38% through vocal quailities or aspects, and 55%  through non verabas aspects such as posture, gestures, and facial expressions.  Begin to make a mental list of things to do that shout love.  Deeds that speak devotion, care, consideration, thoughtfulness, or meaning to your partner.  Since most communication is non verbal, what demonstrates love and prevents the rut of “reactionary-ism” or negative assumptions about each other’s thoughts and/or feelings.

How many times has your partner responded before a word was spoken?  This can be good or bad.    Bad when our communication keeps getting stuck in a swirl of hurtful words or attitudes.  Good when our actions promote warmth and understanding of each other.  Solution communication can be learned, used, and grown.   Seek and find solutions to the misunderstandings through conscientious efforts to improve the love and warmth in relationships with actions of kindness.

Obvious nonverbal acts of love include serving and anticipating the needs, wants, desires of the body, mind, and spirit. For instance, I start the day with an act of love by making my best friend /wife a cup of tea, which I enjoy doing as an act of care, but acts of love go far beyond this example.  It’s the unexpected touch, the pause, the affirmation, or eye contact with a sincere smile.  Helping without being asked in the daily tasks of living is a beautiful message of support and teamwork.

We are beckoned in I John 3:18,” Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions…”

Take some action and put motion in your plan.  Choose to throw those underwear in the hamper, throw the trash in the can, close the cabinet doors, make food on a plate instead of the counter, open the door for each other, randomly pick a flower and give it to your loved one with a reassuring hug, stand behind your partner and rub their shoulders or massage their head, lightly touch their face, look deeply into their eyes when it is obvious the distraction of TV/computer could be absorbing every ounce of our human focus and energy,  or pick up a treat at the store.  Surprise efforts regardless of how small may mean loads.

What deposits love into the account of each other’s love bank?  Study your partner to determine what would mean more than imaginable.  Remember, “Don’t say a word!”  Yoda’s challenge:  “Try not, DO!!”

* Dr. Albert Mehrabian

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