God the  Father said to Jesus’  disciples on the mountain at the transfiguration..”this is my son, listen to him”.  Listening was a mandate from the Father, it was in the imperative.  The
Father wanted his disciples to get the point, He was directing them to pay attention to the one He had given them.  Our partners are a given gift from God even if we are not experiencing the joy of the gift.  We never understand until we listen.  The Father wasn’t trying to get the disciples to hear words but to know the “person” who was giving the message.

When couples learn to hear the heart of their partner,  they come in touch with the person.  Most of the marriage counseling I do directs people how to hear the heart of their partner.   When we want to be heard we often act in ways the push our partners away.   They or we  react, pull away, attack and or go numb.  If I really want to know how my partner feels, most often it is exactly how I am feeling.  The reasons may be different but the experience is often the same.

    “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.
(John 17:20-21 ESV)

So I as myself,  What is my partner really saying below the barbs, silence and or silence? This is your husband/ wife, listen to Him/ her.   It’ communication yes, but it’s far bigger that communication.  It’s two people becoming one, experiencing the meaning, purpose, passion, hurt, etc. of the gift from God.  It doesn’t you are agreeing, it means you value the heart, soul, mind and spirit of the one you are growing in ONENESS with.   Our Mission to to see all things as God see’s them.  We have one purpose, to love as Jesus loves.     Jesus said that “they may be one with me as I am one with You”.  We Have to learn how to listen.    Today I / We will practice listening to my partner so that when stress happens, I will be practiced.